An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events.
(* warning! may not actually be funny or commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what “ostensibly” means, it may not be “ostensibly” either.). This blog is devoted to lists of 10 jokes, so it would only be appropriate if the About me page would be in the same form. So…
1) You may be wondering what List of X means… Well, X is Roman for 10. I don’t know why Romans used X and not 10, and I am sure Romans had no idea what they were doing either. If they knew what they were doing, their empire would probably still be around.
2) So far, no one had asked me about the X. That either means what whoever reads this blog is either an educated person who knows all about Romans and their numbering conventions, or just came here for the humor. I am perfectly fine with either. If you came upon this blog by accident, I will therefore place you into the “educated reader” category. If you are reading this, then, obviously, you can read and use the Internet, so I think that’s fair.
3) Also, “X” means that I prefer to remain anonymous. Yet I still hope that people read my blog, and believe that the posts are good on their own merit. From that you can rightly deduce that I am an unsocial and attention-starved optimist.
4) I don’t work for David Letterman. No, he had not offered. However, I have made a deal with him: he does not read my blog, and I don’t watch his show. Please note, that as a part of the deal, David Letterman is legally required to deny the very existence of any deal.
5) I am not one of lesser-known X-men either, and I am not remotely interested in joining. I just don’t have adequate superpower to fight evil at a professional level. How could I ever hope to battle against a man who can control and throw sharp metals object with his brain, when my only superpower consists of making and throwing sharp and snarky remarks with my brain? Therefore, I have modified my mission to mocking evil at a professional level.
6) I am not planning to write about myself on this blog. And that’s not because I think that my life is boring. No, I am simply holding out for a professional biographer to write a best-selling hardcover book about me.
7) English is not my first language. I have learned it by reading penis enlargement offers, Viagra ads and letters from Nigeria which I receive in my inbox. This is my official excuse for whenever my grammar is off, so please don’t blame my shoddy proofreading. Besides, my aforementioned learning materials weren’t big on proofreading either.
8) The information on this blog is for entertainment purposes only. No animals have been harmed by the attempted humor. Humans… not so much.
9) There’s nothing here, because some things about me I want to keep as a secret.
10) I realize that 10 jokes can sometimes be way too much entertainment for 1 post, so I also have a Twitter account to post one-liners. My name there is @ListofX. Let me be your leader! I mean, feel free to follow me there. Don’t worry. I am not paranoid and I am not afraid to be followed.
All posts here are original and (c), but it is ok to copy and reproduce them as long as you reference this blog as a source.
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